Many years ago my boss saw me pacing the floor of my office.  Concerned, she popped her head in my office and asked and if I was ok? 

“Yes,” I replied. I explained that walking was my way of thinking on idea. Developing a concept. In other words, letting my mind wonder and mull over a creative idea. 

These mini-walking-sessions led to some great projects throughout my career, and any time I was pacing my office she would smile and say, “I know you have got something good cooking.”

It reminded me of when I was a kid walking around the neighborhood for hours daydreaming. Picturing a life and events that were exciting. Being a hero.

When I got older I had headphones and my Walkman playing, but most of those walks were just my thoughts. 

Have we’ve forgotten how to let our minds wonder? The hours are filled with notifications, sounds, radio, tv, and a bombardment of messages to stay informed or influenced.

The days seem to go faster with every notification and ping from our phones and devices. The years. Even faster. 

Days are filled with a constant bombardment of messages, notifications, and noise. I spent much of my first month of unemployment doing many of the same things I had been doing the past four years of my remote job. Following those same patterns. 

Listening to local radio shows for the latest news and political wranglings. Putting a podcast on after the gym (I mean…I do love some Mel Robbins) and I was constantly having something in my ear or in front of me in the name of productivity. 

Our brains need time to reflect. It needs boredom. It needs silence. It needs to slow down. To let connections form and thoughts to percolate like that McDonald’s coffee three shades darker than motor oil. 

I’ve learned that my brain wakes up around 3:00 am to figure things out. Whether it was work-related stress, money issues, a relationship, or any topic sitting in the back of my brain; I was awake as my brain tried to tackle whatever problem.

I’d become angry and sometimes not sleep until the next night. Which continues a cycle of the brain not functioning its best. In fact, at 17-18 hours awake is equivalent to a blood-alcohol content (BAC) of 0.05%. 

At 24 hours awake, that impairment equals a 0.10% BAC. This level causes significant cognitive impairment, similar to being drunk.

I’ve learned this is how I process these external and internal pressures. However, I’m wondering if I gave myself the silence and space throughout the day, then maybe I could have avoided a lot of sleepless nights. 

This blog is inspired by a book I started a couple weeks ago. Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – And How to Think Deeply Again, by Johann Hari dives into today’s modern culture of constantly being connected, reachable and “on” for everyone. 

Now, as I start my second month of unemployment the lessons from Hari’s book is influencing me. 

It took me way too long and the last several years of massive changes for me to realize I want and need space to think.  

I don’t start the day with a rundown of the news. I don’t turn on the radio. I resist (sometimes unsuccessfully) the urge to check my phone first thing for the notifications I may have missed overnight. 

I’m starting with a cup of coffee and silence. I’m writing in silence (but the washer is providing a nice beat in the background). 

I’m listening to myself more. Maybe for the first time in many, many years. 

When the ice outside my door thaws I’m planning on taking long walks. No music. No podcasts. Just enjoy the silence as I know I will be returning to the working world one day. 

But for now, I’m going to walk and daydream again.