What does Father’s Day mean to me? What does it mean to be a father?

According to the Google, the word father traces back through Middle English (fader) to Old English (fæder), ultimately deriving from the Proto-Indo-European root *pəter- (meaning “father” or “protector”). This ancient root, which is deeply tied to imitative baby-speak like “pa,” explains why similar words exist across many global language families.

Protector. Teacher. Guide. Playful. Passing of traditions, and breaking cycles that are no longer useful or positive.

These are also words I think of when I think of the word “father.”

Particularly, I think of fathers and sons as that is my only experience. Bless all the girl dads out there! I think I would have been lost braiding hair!

I became a father almost 18 years ago. I had, and still have no idea what I’m doing. But I know it’s the best thing I’ve done. The thing that I’ve taken the most seriously in life, and shaped my own life in ways I could never have predicted.

So, here are five things I’ve learned and want to share with other fathers, soon-to-be fathers and those generally interested in such things.

1. Children are a reflection of ourselves:
   Sometimes our children look just like us (in my case I somehow have a near perfect clone). But the reflection I’m talking about is deeper, more honest. They are mirrors to our behavior, our values, beliefs and how we treat others. These are qualities we may not recognize in ourselves but seeing them reflect back in both, positive or negative should make us think about our own roles.
   
2. You’re going to mess up:
   It’s part of life. Show your children mistakes happen and how to learn from them. We can show them that there is more to learn from mistakes than manufactured perfection.
   
3. It’s also ok to say “sorry“:
   Again, we are going to mess up as fathers and mothers. We are going to have bad days as professionals in our jobs, personal heartbreaks, disappointments, feel sick, and just generally dealing with life. Don’t let them feel like it is them (unless they have painted their masterpiece on the living room wall), and say sorry and explain as age appropriate that you are not feeling doing your best.
   
4. Push them from the nest:
   Dealing with this one now as my soon to be adult is branching out and beginning to chase his dreams and his own path. This part of life feels less like parenting and falling into that role as a mentor, a guide like Obi-wan Kenobi. To give them the tools to deal with all the things we as adults know life will throw at them.
   
   Failures. Successes. Broken hearts. Careers. Choices and how big ones and small ones can make huge differences.
   
5. Have fun:
   I know it’s hard sometimes. When you woke up at 6:00 am, got them to school, worked, drove home, dinner, bath time, reading time. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
   
   But somewhere in that time is space to build LEGOS. Play video games. Throw a football. Go to the park and go down the slide with them. Make them laugh until Sprite shoots out of their nose. Carry them until you can’t anymore. Take them to your interests and support theirs (even when you don’t quite understand the scoring of tennis almost two years into it).

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out. Keep up the work.